High School VI (Or: “Punishment”)
When I was in Western Civilization class in 9th or 10th grade (I thought it was a little jarring when suddenly “Social Studies” abruptly branched into more specialized classes in high school), I kept some little toys at-hand on my desk.
I can’t remember precisely what toys I had there (they took up a growing area of my desk over the course of the year), but I think a wind-up Lenny Binoculars was there from the 1995 Burger King Kids Club “Toy Story” promo (they would happily sell you the toys without a Kids Meal, as I don’t consume Burger King fare). I believe I kept the little RC car from the previous promo at my desk too. I didn’t fly them around and make noises or anything crazy, but it was comforting and helped me focus to have objects to touch and manipulate occasionally.
At some point during the school year, my teacher, Mr. Gillespie, turned to me in my front row seat and said that if I was going to “play with” my toys at my desk, he’d move up another student and I could sit in the back row and “play” all I wanted. I was a little dumbfounded, but moved back.
It’s only many years later in retrospect that I realize he was trying to punish and shame me.
As an adult I realized I missed many many cues like this…my brain just didn’t register it as being punished